Basic Step 8: How To Avoid Money Stress With Your Spouse

Basic Step 8: How To Avoid Money Stress With Your Spouse

Let’s be honest, There is a really good chance that you won’t find your financial soul mate. Opposites attract and that couldn’t be truer when it comes to our Financial Freedom goals and spouses. After all, this CNBC survey found that 35% of all relationships deal with some sort of financial stress. It’s also not easy to figure out the best way to be fair when it comes to money. You might both earn different amounts and have a different mentality when it comes to your bills. It took me a while to figure out the method that worked the best for my wife and I but since we began this method, we haven’t fought about money again. This will help on how to avoid money stress with your spouse.

Preface

First of all let me start by saying, my wife and I are probably like most of you. My wife agrees with the goal of retiring early… But she loves shoes and going out to eat and shop. But since she generally agrees with the idea she is willing to let some of those things go (or at least be more mindful). She relapses every now and then and goes on the “I’ll pay it off soon” mentality and we gotta sit down for a family ‘budget meeting’ to refocus.

Getting Started

The first thing we did was add up all the bills we have in the house. This included everything from car insurance, cell phones, Daycare, Baby’s School Fund, Mortgage, Etc. Anything that we both contribute to, was added on here. Our total came out to $4,557…Ouch! By the way, if you haven’t looked at ways to cut expenses, you should check them out here.

There are things we didn’t include though which leads to our next section:

Discretionary Spending

I was very clear with my wife when we started this. She works, and since she is earning money, she should have some freedom. As long as we put the required money into our bills account, how she spends the rest is up to here.

So with that said, there are some things we don’t add to the bills account. Food for lunch (We should be cooking at home). Car and Gas (You decide how much you want to spend on a car and how fuel efficient it is).

We have a ‘base rate’ we agreed on this. It is exactly the same for both of us, but it doesn’t mean we have to spend it. For example; if your base rate for a car is $300 a month, but you find a car that you only pay $180, then good for you! You’ll have an extra $120 to spend or save monthly!

Add Up The Take Home Pay

You should have two lists at this point. The first will tell you your household joint expenses. The second how much each person is spending on their own.

Now you’ll need to add up your take-home pay. This can be tricky for some people so let’s talk about different pay methods.

Commission: I earn salary + commission so it would be unfair to not add this on. My commission comes in quarterly, so I average them out and revise them every 6 months in the budget. You can average it out as often as you’d like to get a good idea of what your take-home pay is.

Hourly: As with commission, look back at the last 6 months and average out this pay. This should be your take-home pay.

Start Your Calculations

On your main chart (or spreadsheet table), you’ll have both of your incomes, and will subtract the base rate of the discretionary spending for each of you to get your ‘LEFT OVER’ (LO) money. Now add those numbers together, subtract by the house bills, and divide by 2. This is your ‘LEFT OVER AFTER BILLS’ (LOAB) number. Now for the final step, subtract the ‘LOAB’ from the ‘LO’ money for each person, and the result is how much you should be adding to the bills monthly.

How To Avoid Money Stress With Your Spouse

Teamwork

Still with me? Yeah, there are some tricky calculations here, but the numbers make sense! Whats more is that now we really enjoy when either one of us earns more money, If she gets a raise, I’m left with more money, and vice versa!

All That Extra Money?

Well, I’m a huge fan of the famous zero-sum budget, so most of the extra money goes towards our spending accounts. I include them in my Net Worth so you can check out what they are here.

This is definitely not the only way to split bills, just a way that worked out for us. I feel good knowing I’m not taking advantage of making more money. She feels good because she can contribute her part and still have a few extra dollars. There is a lot of stress of living with someone, so if figuring out how to avoid money stress with your spouse or significant other helps you, then go for it!

What methods do you use in your household to split the bills?

Check out the other Basic Steps here!



Published by Gabe A

Gabe A. is the creator of The Shiny Dollar. Besides writing and helping others with their finances, he loves to travel and spend time with his family.

224 Comments

Love how you both work together! For my bf and I, he handles the mortgage and car insurance. I handle everything else. In my position it can be frustrating. All I see are expenses and hardly any money left for ‘fun’ money. Sometimes it makes me feel super restricted and yes it can drive me nuts. But as long as I have my bf rooting for me saying that we can do this…until our son starts Kindergarten….I believe we can handle anything.
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The clean Zune browser is astonishingly Terrific, nonetheless not as very good as the iPod’s. It is effective nicely, however isn’t as instant as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If oneself once in a while program on getting the world-wide-web browser that is not an issue, nevertheless if you happen to be creating toward go through the internet alot in opposition to your PMP then the iPod’s larger sized show and much better browser may well be significant.

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This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

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Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

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I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

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I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

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Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

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I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

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The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

Reply

If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

Reply

I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

Reply

Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

Reply

Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

Reply

This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

Reply

The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

Reply

This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

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Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

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The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

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This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

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